Tag Archives: derek woods

How To Not Carve A Pumpkin

19th October 2012

I used to always say to myself “Judging by how poorly I stab a pumpkin in order to make a face, I would probably be a horrible murderer.” Thats about the time that I watched Blood Sucking Freaks and got totally inspired!

I grabbed a couple of drill bits, my drill, and a gutted pumpkin and ended up making a couple of fun pumpkin designs!

If you fail at that, punch a hole in that shit and you have a great excuse to wear a new hat!

tah dah! (photo thanks to the incredible Derek Woods)

Oh Joy!

17th November 2011

Photo by Derek Woods

I’m such a happy lady, lately! I don’t even know where to begin on explaining how I’ve achieved this ultimate joy, since its always the little things that do it, so I’ll start with a true story of one of those said things:

I was in Los Angeles a few weeks ago which involves a lot of highway driving. I don’t mind the driving/ traffic involved in these drives. Its more the highway scenery in LA that bothers me. Its so drab.

On one occasion, a friend and I were getting ready to exit the highway when we hit some unexpected traffic. As we drove closer we noticed a bunch of cars slowing down and swerving out of the way for what, at a distance, appeared to be a ton of tiny animals hopping along the highway.

As we became close enough to be the car that needed to dodging the moving objects, it became apparent that these moving objects were an assortment of different bouncing balls!! I kid you not! Footballs, basketballs, dodge balls, tiny hot pink bouncy balls, those translucent colored balls that are usually in Target and are too light to really throw. SO MANY COLORFUL BOUNCY BALLS ON THE 405!!

We both looked at each other and just started laughing at how surreal the situation was.

Now whenever it gets quiet for too long I like to break the silence by saying to him

“Dude! Remember that time we played dodgeball in traffic?!?

Heres some other things that I love about life:

Camouflaging my jewelry with my phone

Knowing that someone’s there to catch you, if you fall

Fish eyes that cover fake eyes that cover real eyes

When hidden cameras capture amazing moments

When people aren’t afraid to speak up and spell things out for you

Memorable talks during long car rides

Pizza parties!

Going to Grand Central Station at the rare time when it is almost completely silent

The smell of melting crayons

Pretending to be scary

Challenging someone who is holding back a smile

Huge clusters of objects

When my friends get random and ridiculous to get a rise out of me

Turning things into monsters

The artificial color of blue that radiates from swimming pools

Eating food so good that your stomach becomes bigger than anything on your body and you nearly explode!

Christmas lights that don’t get used around Christmas

Pretending to be an animal.

Especially if being that animal involves jumping!

Being able to act as a helpful assistant

Unnecessary illustrations

Freshly painted nails

Going to old diners with retro architecture (this one was Googie!)

Seeing something worth taking a second look at

The feeling of honestly not caring what anyone thinks of you

Books with lots of old images

Being destructive without causing harm

The Hollywood Reservoir

Hanging out in the shade in the middle of a sunny day

Doing the Bernie (photo also by Derek Woods)

Honerable Mentions:

  • Matte gray nail polish
  • Ceremonys show on a bridge in Austin
  • The feeling from sucessfully swatting a fly
  • Mini brownies from Le Pain Quotidien
  • Alex‘s Gummeow cat stickers!
  • Singing along to the ultimate 90′s songs
  • Finding something you almost paid full price for, in the clearance section
  • The Pomplamoose song about a monster mask
  • Being the very first people in the line at a theme park
  • Leaving dinosaur noises for people as their voicemail
  • Creating milkshake (Nutella, malt powder, and mini marshmallows is the best one yet)
  • Creating meals (Roscoes chicken, mac & cheese, and a touch of maple syrup placed between two waffles is crazy good)
  • Going to the beach at night
  • Having serious talks on swingsets
  • Being complimented on a mix you’ve made
  • Staying up until late because I’m taking jokes too far and loosing track of time
  • Disneys Haunted Mansion around Halloween
  • The narcoleptic robot that you pass in line on Star Tours at Disney
  • Churros (tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch on a stick)
  • The Family Circus with blank pannels
  • People watching at costume parties
  • Halloween, because its when guys need help with their makeup and I find that so silly
  • Staying in theme parks until they close
  • Laughing before getting out of bed
  • Making functional robots
  • ICP documentaries
  • Being the only person left in an airport
  • Really blue cleaning solutions
  • Voice memo texts
  • Stonys pizza truck in Austin, TX
  • Writing the letter “f” in cursive
  • Frigid Shortcomings by Ink & Dagger
  • Realizing you’ve broken in something made of leather
  • Special choose your own adventure comics


Pumpskin

14th November 2011

Back around Halloween, my friend Derek and I went on a hunt around the artificial pumpkin patches of Los Angeles for the perfect sized pumpkins to carve and place on our heads.

The process was really simple and fun…and a bit of a mess.

Derek documented the process I used to make mine, with his iPhone.

Heres how to fit yourself for a pumpkin mask:

  1. Cut the pumpkin as if it were a slice of pie, from the bottom to midway up the back of where you plan on the face being
  2. Rip out its pumpkin guts (do NOT eat them raw. It tastes like organic garbage vomit) and scrape it until its shallow/ lightweight
  3. Try fitting your head into the pumpkin.
  4. If it doesn’t fit at first, cut WIDER but not higher to the stem of the pumpkin. (I say this because Derek cut his pumpkin head too high up and had a hard time keeping it from falling off.)

A series of poor choices are illustrated in this image, actually…

Heres some tips on making your face:

  • Cut 1 hole where you think an eye should go
  • put the pumpkin on your head, and mark where you plan on cutting the other with the assistance of a pen and a mirror.
  • The less space you cut open, the less people can see your face, the creepier the head becomes.

Wearing a pumpkin mask is SO fun! You can do so many things in disguise like:

Get all of your shopping done*

Practice your football tosses in the house

Go on a hot date.

Take fun photos

Get too drunk on your date and cry because no one can see you!

Photos by Chloe Rice

*Photo montages taken by the toy camera wizard,  Derek Woods

Oh Joy!

22nd September 2011


Going on photo adventures

Finding photo booths, in the process

Animal kisses

Fat suspenders

my office space

Everything that the word MAC is abbreviated for

Learning more about toy cameras (thanks to Derek Woods)

Making the people I love smile

My grandmothers always well manicured hands

Polka dots; writing on steam; parallel parking challenges

Smuggling vitamins around like drugs

Driving alone though the country side and stopping to hang out in random places that I never could in the city. Like cow pastures!

Doing cartwheels down rows that appear endless.

Seafoam green and bright red

Chucking flowers at people in the park

Drawing Freddy Catguer where ever markers and paper are available

freckled faces

Charlies response to people that talk to her like a baby.