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The End.

21st May 2011

I was supposed to have a late birthday party in my backyard, today. Then I got word that it was going to rain and that we were all going to die, anyway. So needless to say, my party has been postponed indefinitely.

According to the bible, May 21st is the day of the rapture. I don’t feel like its fair to bluntly tease the Christians for putting so much of their time and money into this campaign. (I just marveled over the classic web design they had a pastors son create). Being raised a Catholic, I can say that although I don’t take the thought of Jesus sucking people up into the clouds very seriously, I can understand where there may have been a miscommunication. The bible is no better than a teenage daughter with a blooming social life. So vague and passive aggressive when you ask ANYTHING!

The term “the Rapture” refers to the action of “being caught up in”.  A term that was just taken a bit too literally. I personally enjoy living here and don’t know if I’m ready to have this guy come back after thousands of years and take some things I love away from me! Instead, why doesn’t he just take away some of the nuisances on earth and leave us with an overall better world?

If you could have some the rapture take something away, what would it be? For me it would be:

  • Diablo Cody
  • banana flavored everything
  • people who openly sobbed over Michael Jacksons death
  • Fritos chips.
  • the word abbreviation F.T.W. and F.M.L.
  • people who use the term”fuck my life”
  • whoever thought thick plastic packaging for a new pair of scissors was a brilliant idea
  • Dora the Explorer
  • whatever “dubstep” is
  • the asshole who created Nextel phones
  • airport ticketing cops
  • all men who wear fedoras and weren’t born in Cuba in the 1930′s
  • all men who own a flat iron
  • those really cool girls who always need to let you know that they don’t get along with girls.
  • anyone who makes a voice that resembles that of a South Park character
  • Mogwai
  • umbrellas

I would also not be offended if the Rapture took away the band The Rapture and replaced the popularity that they got with better bands like Menomena.

Oh Joy! (the birthday edition)

12th May 2011

Photo by Jeremy Bolm

Giving inanimate objects face lifts

Looking for waterfalls and finding boulders

Friends who will climb, jump, and make me laugh
Driving to the beach
Birthday notes! (thanks Jorge!)

birthday cards from fellow font snobs

Birthday wishes from babies!

Waking up early and reading outside before the street and neighbor sounds start for the day.

impromptu bedroom ice cream parties

Hiding from the sun in silly suits

being able to walk around barefoot

Boozed up kangaroos

death metal graffiti

Jumping

good mexican food

Waiting for trains to pass in the middle of nowhere

Having a food truck pot luck, from Din Din A Go Go

Tours of Burbank. (why yes, that IS the house from Fresh Prince of Bel Air)

My ridiculous family

Photobooths!

Counting down the days until my other half arrives!

Harassing James until he does the same!!!


Make Monday: ohPodcast!

14th February 2011

Photo from my attempt to spread love through the city with balloons, last Valentines Day.

Other than the increased odds of catching my favorite guilty pleasure movie on tv, my favorite part of Valentines day is the excuse to spend hours rummaging through my music for love songs (or breakup songs, depending on the timing). To stay up with the times, this year, I cracked open Garageband and made my first ever podcast.

Things included in this podcast:

  • Banter about Ike and Tina Turner
  • Love songs written for temperamental people
  • A really bad British accent. Like, really bad….I wouldn’t even call it British.
  • The tone of my voice at 4am
  • Brontosaurus wailing sounds
  • Useless facts about Hallmark and Gang of Four
  • an explanation of why I’m including a link to download this Valentines Day card from the Simpsons

Things NOT included in this podcast:

  • a box of chocolates
  • seamlessly smooth edits
  • bad music

Download my podcast here!

p.s. If someone who has published a podcast, can help me figure out how to get an rss feed for this file, i would really appreciate it…

ohJoy

10th February 2011

the absurdly bright red wall I pass on my way to the train, every day.

rescuing more plants than I know what to do with

instant results

sprinkles!

buy back drinks from Max Fish

this visual list of 1960′s Japanese cartoons

extra long shoe laces

leaving situations I don’t want to be in

seeing my reflection, unexpectedlyfacebook, for reminding me of a very different time in life

making mountains appear in flat urban areas

laughing out loud in public

aj’s impromptu drawing sessionsthe vent to my sidewalk that blows warm air that smells like fresh laundryflowers that bloom and die at the same time friends who’s jobs involve picking noses.

light houses. This one in Ohio may be my favorite one.

Honorable Mentions:

  • Himitsu no Akko-chan
  • David Bowies Hunky Dory album. According to iTunes, I’ve listened to “Oh! You Pretty Things” 22 times this week.
  • thick yet soft bed sheets
  • layovers in Atlanta
  • drinking papaya juice and watching people get drenched in the cold rain
  • my grandma for always worrying about me, no matter how silly the situation
  • watching people stumble into moving walkways, in airports
  • this photo that Molly Burkett took of me
  • learning something new and being up until dawn exploring its possibilities
  • flying out of Laguardia airport, and seeing a birds eye view of the entire city
  • Bottle Rocket “They’ll never catch me, man… because I’m fucking innocent”

Make Monday: good coffee

7th February 2011

I’m a total coffee snob. I drink it black, so that usually means I can taste all of its imperfections. If its burnt, old, ect.

Heres some tips on how to make a perfect cup of coffee.

Grind:

  • Should be fine enough to allow water to pass through coffee grounds without overflow.
  • If you’re able to access a proper coffee shop, just ask them to ground it for whatever coffee chachkaa you use. (meletia cup, drip, french press, ect)

Measure:

  • Start with two level tablespoons for every 6 oz cup; adjust to your taste

Water:

  • Water should be sweet, without excessive minerals or salt. Use spring water, if you’re not sure.

Temperature:

  • 190 Fahrenheit
  • The water should never be brought to a boil, because it’ll burn the coffee.

Storing:

  • Good coffee will stay fresh for 2 weeks if kept air tight and away from moisture condensation.
  • Those waxy paper bags with the twist tie on top, that the coffee usually comes in? yeah. those work just dandy just as long as you squeeze out all excess air. and tightly close it.

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